October 2nd, 2014 - Would you like a cat with that?

This one really doesn't need an introduction or explanation... it was bound to happen.

Dialogue:

Hello and thanks for shopping at Computers'R'Us. Did you find everything you need?

I think so.

What about a cat, do you need a cat?

Do you mean a mouse?

No sir, a cat. Do you have a cat?

Do I have a cat at home? No, I don’t have a cat.

Hmm, well, we have the latest models in isles 1 and 2, but if you don’t mind a trade in, we have a few in the front window to choose from.

I… I don’t think I need a cat, but thanks.

Will you be using the internet for banking or sending personal information?

Well, yes, but I’m not sure why…

Then we highly recommend you get a cat sir.

I don’t want a cat… I’m allergic.

Oh, that’s not a problem. We have a wide selection of allergy blockers conveniently located in isle 3.

I’m sorry, but why are you so insistent on my getting a cat?

For security reasons, sir. The only secure way to log onto the internet is with McKitty. The set up is relatively easy and will be activated as soon as you configure the system to your cat.

What?

It’s really very simple sir. Install McKitty and upload a picture of your cat using the handy SnapCat App, and go about your business. The system will automatically keep track and upload the picture to the web. That picture is valid only on that session but will remain for future reference. For added security, it will ask you to upload another picture of your cat when you access another site. The next time you log back on, you’ll need to repeat the process. It’s really very simple and as each picture of your cat is unique, it offers the best form of security. For the most part, it’s what everyone has been doing for years anyway.

Cat Pictures?

Yes sir. I suggest the Muffin model, but if you prefer, the Mr. Fluffy Pants model comes with automatic weekly litter and cat food delivery, for a small monthly fee of course.

Wow. Uhm. I think my neighbour has a cat, can I use their cat.

No sir, you need your own cat. The system will be configured to work with your own unique IP address and only with your specific cat. Unless you have multiple users, then you may want to consider more than one cat.

No, it’s just me. <sigh> Ok, I guess I’ll take a Mr. Fluffy Pants.

Great choice sir, will that be on Visa?

I guess.

Fantastic, enjoy your new cat and thanks for shopping with us today.

<Brought to you by the Association for Feline World Domination through Internet Infiltration.>

Meow

Hope you enjoyed.

Comment if you like.